"You can't do that!" "That's way too difficult!" "If you try, you'll probably just fail anyway." These statements sound as if they're coming from a tyrannical and cruel person with a mission to destroy self-confidence. Unfortunately, all too often, we can be the tyrant and our target can be our self.
Negative self-talk is something we have all probably engaged in at some time. When it rears its ugly head on a regular basis it, it can lead to self-sabotage, and can stop us achieving our goals and dreams.
What's worse is that we usually don't recognize that it's even happening. Instead, we attribute our lack of success to inadequacy. This, in turn, strengthens the negative messages we feed ourselves, and we get caught in a self-sabotaging cycle that can be very difficult to break.
The tell-tale sign that you are sabotaging your self is when you grind to a halt when you're trying to achieve your goals, for no rational reason. The skill, ability and desire are there: It's just that something stops you moving forward.
When you feel that you can't do something you should be able to do, or that you shouldn't do something, even though you know deep down that you want or need to do it, self-sabotage is at work.
There are some common themes in self-sabotaging behavior. See if you recognize yourself in any of these examples:
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